Whoops, You Forgot Something, HBO Bee Gees Documentary!
Confession - Sir Barry Gibb (Knighted in 2018) was not on my teenage wall in 1978.
Here’s the truth - We liked the movie and the soundtrack! Sure the story wasn’t great but that’s not why we liked it!
I certainly knew who he was. Everyone knew the Bee Gees. And let’s be honest, it was common knowledge that he was the most handsome of his brothers – yes, even including Andy – there I said it - and I am sorry (may they all RIP).
Really, he was the most handsome of anyone in pop music. I remember telling my friends that I couldn’t look at him too long, it was like looking into the sun. That being said, we girls (and many men) were absolutely fine with the fact that he was everywhere! (Except maybe for jealous Chicago DJ Steve Dahl!)
I was 15 and sneaking into local discos in suburban New Jersey, so I had been dancing to all of their music and there was no comparison. People would flood the dance floor when any one of their songs was played. They were so romantic!
Whole dance routines were worked out for the Prom in 1979 – my poor boyfriend – but so much fun!
Wasn’t surprised seeing the name Barry Gibb in the opening credits for writing the cool title song for Grease, a movie my friends made me go see five times. And you can’t convince me otherwise that he has a little falsetto cameo at the end of Summer Nights – that was not John Travolta - Listen for it and you won’t be able to unhear it now.
Know all the songs by heart, all of the ones they did for others - When my kids visit me at the nursing home, I may not know them but I’ll still know the words to How Deep is Your Love. Fun fact: I can do his falsetto for karaoke!!
Could it be that he was just too handsome? To good to be true, right? Maybe I didn’t trust Sir Barry Gibb to be tender with my teen girl heart. Fans want to live vicariously through their celeb and see them happy, healthy and staying with their wives (I’m looking at you Ewan McGregor!). Turns out those who stayed with Sir Barry made a very wise choice!
When Sir Barry was once asked about current teen idols misbehaving he simply said “Be what those girls love you for – be a good example.”
So why the fixation now?
Not this obsessed!
Those who know me well, know I can obsess on a topic well past any normal person’s Sunday morning coffee sipping scroll. I do have a limit tho – I don’t create complicated edited videos on YouTube or dedicated Twitter, Facebook and IG accounts (God Bless those fans and their hard work).
This new fascination started with a friend’s simple suggestion to watch the HBO documentary on the Bee Gees “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart.” It was very good and brought back a lot of memories! Time for a quick #barrygibb search on Twitter after it was over to see how he was doing and I was NOT alone…Supposedly, Sir Barry Gibb received an estimated 900,000 social media messages overnight after the show aired from fans, celebrities and famous musicians.
Many men posted selfies of their outgrown hair and beards saying they look just like him - uh, they DO NOT - I know this to be true because there were many young female tweets saying “OMG, Why did no one tell me about young Barry Gibb and why don’t men look like him now?”
What really grabbed my attention were many tweets of people wanting to give him a hug because of the tragic loss of his three younger brothers as the show really made it seem he was all alone, living in Miami. Believe me I was sad too – especially, after his vulnerable last remark…
“I’d rather have them all back and no hits a’tall”
So just how lonely is he? He still has a little of that spark, he’s got that cool accent, he’s brilliant, he’s a high value man, flights to Miami are cheap…
Wait a minute..
Wasn’t there a beautiful girl that he married in 1970? References to Barry’s glamorous wife in the documentary, some videos and photos but no real interview with her? A quick google and…
50 Years Married!!
5 Grown Children
8 Grandchildren
All live a mile from them in Miami.
How is this possible?
I understand that the documentary was focused on the music career of the Bee Gees, but isn’t it amazing and kind of important that Sir Barry’s happy long marriage could be a big part of why he’s had such a long and successful career?
I went down the rabbit hole and turns out, he agrees! That’s why he made that beautiful statement. All of the accolades don’t measure up to what is most important to him and he’s been quite vocal about how much he values his wife and family.
“Take care of your family because whatever happens, you have to come home.”
So here’s the story
Meeting his wife Linda could not be more of a fairy tale - The Bee Gees were performing their first number #1 hit “Massachusetts” on the London TV show Top of the Pops on September 21, 1967. (click here to watch)
As Sir Barry tells it, he looked across the room, his eyes met with the hostess, Miss Edinburgh, Linda Gray, and he thought to himself “that girl is devastating!” He was 21 and had been living the life of a true rouge pop star with promise rings in his pocket for his female admirers. He actually was married as a teenager before he left Australia (wasn’t a scandal, didn’t work out, don’t hold this against him).
So, being a handsome, confident guy with a #1 hit, he walked over, asked her out for cup of tea and ended up “having a cuddle“ in Dr. Who’s Tardis where “time stood still”. Ah, London in the 60s.
I definitely have a thing for puffy shirts
“People talk about love at first sight and it’s true, because it happened to me.“
“I thought ‘That’s the woman I’m going to spend my life with’” (Now go listen to the lyrics of More than a Woman)
Now it wasn’t all daisies and buttercups. Sir Barry shared that his manager didn’t want him to take her out in public or be photographed with her because they needed to continue the illusion he was available.
Let that screaming girl in the front row still think she has a chance!!
Linda has eluded to the fact that the whole pop star thing wasn’t going to work for her and at some point during their three year relationship, he thought he had blown it. After flying all the way to Beverly Hills for meetings in LA with his manager (a big trip back then) they were all checked in and he said he needed to go back… “But we have a whole schedule!” Nope, need to leave right away.
“You don’t understand or maybe you do understand, she’s the one.”
(Now go listen to Star Crossed Lovers from his album In The Now)
They married on his 24th birthday, September 1, 1970 and it was a very well covered by the London press.
Sorry girls in the front row!
So that’s 50 Years!
According to their sons, “They still love each other today just like they did then.”
“He’s the epitome of the doting husband.”
They’re the couple that hold hands all the time and finish each other’s sentences. As someone who’s marriage lasted 11 years and my parents’ marriage lasted 29 before divorce, I hold a deep admiration and fascination for couples who get to that place.
“Linda, along with me, has seen everything you can see if you’re a pop group on the rise. She never missed anything and that’s something to take great comfort from. We can talk to each other about any single instance in our lives and what happened to the group and she was there.”
After Sir Barry lost his brothers he said “She is a tower of strength who is always right behind me and she’s either going to give me a top on the head or a kick in the ass.”
She was there through it all. She supported her husband and obviously, got along with his brothers as well as their wives. We’ve heard of other bands breaking up over wives, so this is an important tidbit!
The Fashion Icon
Midnight Special 1973
If you google Sir Barry by himself (which I highly recommend), you get all of the iconic photos – the bathtub pics with the cigarette holder, the shirtless demin jacket, the famous concert tight white pants (now in the Smithsonian – 28 inch waist BTW – there’s a podcast about it) – fabulous brocade jackets, puffy shirts, the mustache phase and of course – the evolution of that hair –
You got to assume that Linda had something to do with all that fashion…she was his wife after all and it all seemed to start after 1967! He was awarded Best Dressed Pop Star in London in 1969.
I’m thinking she stood behind the hair stylist suggesting “I think you should just let it grow – it’s got such nice soft curls and maybe try blonde for a while?”
Did she come home from the Miami shops calling upstairs, “Barry, honey, I picked up a great leather suit for you, it has cool ties in the front, it should go nice with your tan and gold chains - maybe for The Midnight Special?”
She wins the award for most secure wife ever!! Most wives would be suggesting rumpled t-shirts, limited bathing and serve lasagna every night!
There is no question that Sir Barry was quite the showman and it was the trend at the time - remember Elvis’s pantsuits? But nothing quite compared to 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s Barry Gibb and the fact she encouraged this is something for which we all should be grateful!!
Together, they were quite a sight to behold. Most women would assume she had to stay alert at all the big events, keeping the women at bay which I’m sure was true…
However, Sir Barry tells a story about how Steve McQueen almost whisked her away on his motorbike from a party in LA. It’s hilarious to think he was at parties with one eye open to make sure no famous movie star stole his wife.
Family is Everything
Yep, that’s my husband up there singing “Words” to me at the Oakland Coliseum surrounded by a gazillion screaming women.
Linda travelled with him everywhere around the world with kids in tow to the concerts. She says that time was magical. I stressed taking my boys to the zoo. There were no awful backstage stories – no scandals. The Bee Gees are known for being very good to their fans so their concerts were big lovefests!
When the Bee Gees huge popularity in the US took a nose dive after the death of disco, Sir Barry started writing for other people. He talks about that time fondly because he was home. “There was no Pop Star in my house. I was a husband and a father.” Obviously, a rough time for him professionally but having his family around kept him grounded.
Their first two sons were born in the 70s and the second two born in the 80s with their daughter born in 1991. Fame and fortune didn’t shield them from the tragedies in life - loss of parents, siblings, miscarriage, complications at birth, their daughter was born at 26 weeks, Sir Barry’s back surgeries and complications of arthritis but as a committed couple, they were together and weathered through it to enjoy a big beautiful family.
“I managed to steer clear of the trappings of fame and put my family first. It really is my greatest achievement.”
All the Gibb clans grew, the children were very close and spent a lot of time together. The houses in Miami and England seemed to be the hub for all of the families.
It was a devastating blow when Andy Gibb died at 30 in 1988. He may have looked similar to Barry but he didn’t really follow in his footsteps. Although Barry gives Linda credit “My brothers had their demons but my wife wouldn’t have it. If anything came in the house, it went down the toilet.”
Boundaries are good but the truth probably is that he sacrificed short term gratification for long term happiness. That was probably not easy but certainly paid off.
“We made it, against all odds”
In the documentary Sir Barry said this about the Bee Gees career. But I think it goes deeper than that. He seemed to know at a young age how to make mature decisions to support his future self and family. Maybe it was the fact that he was scalded with hot water as a young child almost causing his death causing him not speak for two years that gave him a different outlook growing up. (Interesting fact for Jimmy Fallon and contrary to popular belief - The scars on his chest inhibited the growth of hair, so of the three brothers, his didn’t have much chest hair at all.)
Linda and her Knight in 2018
Also, even though he speaks lovingly of his father, he saw early on how his father wasn’t able to really support them. Stories of how the electric bill wasn’t paid, how they earned their fare to and from Australia by performing and then would move in the middle of the night at the end of the month because the rent hadn’t been paid.
Sir Barry, being the oldest son, seems to have decided that he had a way to provide for his family which may be why he was so driven and why when they moved to Miami, they stayed there. Why everyone lives so close, why he fought so they owned their catalog that now takes care of his brothers’ estates. They may not have had drugs in the house, but those suffering from addiction and the fallout were certainly welcome from Andy to Maurice, Maurice’s family and then, their oldest Stephen.
So the part they left out of the documentary is…
Sir Barry Gibb is far from unhappy and lonely because of a well-lived life.
It’s the beautiful story of a husband and a wife who have dedicated their lives to family and charity. (I could write an entire blog post about their 40+ years work with the Diabetes Research Institute in Miami or how the rights to the song Too Much Heaven is actually owned by UNICEF and has raised almost $20 million).
It’s also a story of a man who understood the need to sacrifice the now for the potential of the future out of love. His name is on over 1000 songs, pretty much all love songs. Written from his happy marriage, his love for his brothers and their families, his parents, his children, grandchildren and his fans. Imagine writing songs that so resonate that people play them at the most important events of their lives.
“I always wear my heart on my sleeve” His heart is in those songs and it’s literally how he and his brothers communicated. Turns out those songs were written for his future self to ease the pain of loss. (Listen to End of the Rainbow - album In the Now - the song he sang to Robin on his deathbed)
When asked by Piers Morgan on Life Stories what was the single moment he would love to relive in his whole career, he said, “The day we met. The day I met Linda is the greatest spiritual moment of my life. To know I didn’t have to search anymore, that here she was…this was an absolute certainty and I stopped searching.” (click here for full interview - it’s quite lovely)
Spoken like a man who knows who he is and who helped him get there. When he was lost and didn’t know what to do next after the loss of his brothers, Linda said, “You have God given talent, get off your ass and make music.” Do yourself a favor and check out his recent albums: In The Now, Released in 2016 and Greenfields - The Gibb Brothers Songbook Vol. 1 released this past January 2021.
So, now I’m a fan! I guess I just needed to grow up to appreciate him!
